Boobies Included
150 baht a beer? Unless I’m staring at some naked boobies when I drink I can’t imagine a reason to pay 150 baht for a beer.
Overheard on Soi 11
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It’s Simple Physics
In Thailand it’s not a matter of if you can get a girl on any given night. Even Stephen Hawking can score here. The only question is how hot she will be.
Overheard on Sukhumvit
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You Know You Have a Problem When . . .
You know you have a problem when you take more shits in bar bathrooms than you do in your own bathroom.
Overheard at Hideaway on Soi 22
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Elder
She took me up to her village. I met the family and realized I might actually be the oldest person in her family.
Overheard on the BTS
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Teaching Them a Lesson
Guy 1: The other night I get this phone call and it’s that chick I met last week. And she’s in my apartment! The f*cking security dude let her in. So I jump in a taxi with the girl I’m out with and go back to my apartment and tell her to get the f*ck out. Then the girl I’m with starts with an attitude so I kicked them both out. Taught them both a lesson.
Guy 2: I just learned a lesson too. I learned how not to handle a situation when I have two women in my room who both want to have sex with me.
Overheard in a bar on Sukhumvit
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Excuses
My excuse is going to be that I was forced to go out and drink with beautiful Thai women all night.
Queen’s Park Plaza, Soi 22
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Speaking in Foreign Tongues
Female Teacher (fishing for a compliment): Is there anyone beautiful in this class? (spoken in Thai)
Student (looking confused): I’m sorry, I don’t understand what you’re asking. (spoken in English)
Female Teacher: Is there anyone beautiful in this class? (again in Thai but much slower)
Student (really looking confused): Uh, uhhhhhm, no. (in Thai)
Student 2 (to the teacher): Som nam na (loose translation: You get what you deserve).
Overheard in a Thai language class
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Cops or Lady Boys
Guy 1: Dude, this ladyboy just tried to grab me. I almost punched that mother f*cker in the face.
Guy 2: That might be the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in Thailand
Guy 1: What?
Guy 2: There are two people you never hit in Thailand, cops and ladyboys. And if I had to make a choice between the two I would hit the cop because at least he knows he has paperwork to fill out when he kills you.
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Thai Politics
Thai politics is like being in prison or a gang. You need to have a few felonies under your belt just to get some respect.
Overheard on Soi 11