When you hit a new low, keep digging
I’ve reached a new low. I was someone’s pity fuck. In the morning when I asked for her phone number she gave me 300 baht and told me her phone was broken.
Overheard at Starbucks by Steven
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Mixed Signals
Living in Thailand makes you realize what a pain in the ass it must be for women back home to get hit on all of the time. It’s like, “Hey, I was just casually looking over in your general direction. I didn’t invite you over.”
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I’ll Wait
At US Embassy:
Staff: Okay, it’ll be about an hour. You can wait over there.
Customer 1: Is there a cafeteria or someplace I can get a coffee?
Staff: There are many places outside that sell food and coffee.
Customer 1: But, you have my passport. How do I get back in the embassy? Forget it. I’ll just wait here.
Several minutes pass
Customer 2: I gave you my husband’s passport and we went outside to eat and now they won’t let him back in without his passport.
Staff: Oh, yes, he needs his passport to enter. You need to stand in that line over there and ask them what you can do.
Overheard at the US embassy by Bill
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Same Thing
Guy: I’m retired
Girl: Oh, you retarded?
Guy: No, retired. I don’t work anymore. Finished.
Girl: Oh.Overheard at Old German Beerhouse by Aaron
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Sometimes you just know
Staff: Okay, it’ll be about an hour. You can wait over there.
Customer 1: Is there a cafeteria or someplace I can get a coffee?
Staff: There are many places outside that sell food and coffee.
Customer 1: But, you have my passport. How do I get back in the embassy? Forget it. I’ll just wait here.[Several minutes pass]
Customer 2: I gave you my husband’s passport and we went outside to eat and now they won’t let him back in without his passport.
Staff: Oh, yes, he needs his passport to enter. You need to stand in that line over there and ask them what you can do.Overheard at the US Embassy by Carl
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Add it to the bucket list
You haven’t lived until you’ve spent the night drinking Thai whiskey with your building security guards.
Overheard at Cheap Charlie’s by Franklin
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When a cliche becomes cliche
So let me guess, Thailand is the greatest place in the world and you’re going to go back home, sell all of your stuff, and move here. Man, I’m sure there’s a bargirl getting wet in the pants right now.
Overheard at Emporium by Kevin
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Why isn’t it listed in Lonely Planet?
My body is a temple. An old, dilapidated, beer soaked, disease ridden temple. But a temple all the same.
Overheard at Queen’s Park Plaza by Stu
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The bad influence
White girl getting into a taxi with 3 guys: I don’t care. I want to see some boobies. Let’s go!
Overheard outside Pantip Plaza by Marco.