Man #1: See that guy at the end of the bar?
Man #2: Yeah.
Man #1: I’ve probably seen that guy around here 15 or 20 times and I’ve never seen him sober.
Man #2: Do you mean that you’ve never been sober when you see him or that he’s never sober when you see him?
Man #1: Good point.
Overheard at Hideaway by TFA
If I had to pick any other job it would be K’s personal mobile phone salesman. I wouldn’t need any other customers. I’ve never seen one man lose so many phones. He either needs to quit drinking so much or get a leash for his phone. Maybe both.
Overheard at Sportsman by Chuckles
If I have but one redeeming quality, it’s that I provide the security guard at my apartment hours of conversation with his friends and family about the crazy drunk farang.
Overheard at the Aussie Bar by Smokes
The one thing you learn living in Thailand is to just get rid of the phrase, “What could possibly go wrong?” Believe me, if it can go wrong it will.
Guy 1: I don’t have a drinking problem
Guy 2: We’re in a bar drinking. It’s 11:30 am on a Tuesday and we both called in sick because we were hungover from last night. I’m not sure where you draw the drinking problem line in the sand but I’m pretty sure we’ve crossed it.
Overheard at Bully’s by HelpMe
Waking up in the morning with a hospital bracelet on is god’s way of telling you to slow down.
Overheard in Gulliver’s by GapStop
Hey, the only reason I get up early for the free buffet breakfast is to get a glimpse of all the girls, and an occasional ladyboy, doing the walk of shame in the morning.
Overheard in bar in Phuket by AussieBob
I told him not to do anything stupid while I was gone. I was only home one day before I get a phone call that he’s been rushed to the hospital with a concussion and a broken leg when he fell down the stairs because he was drunk. I’m getting a diamond necklace out of this.
I felt so bad. I bought my wife this huge bouquet of roses and as I was walking down the street I see this Thai kid with his girlfriend and she’s got this mini-bouquet about a quarter of the size of mine that probably set him back a week’s salary. I saw his girlfriend look at my bouquet and then at her bouquet and then she gave her boyfriend the stink eye.
Overheard at Emporium by Ray
