I Like Thailand
Thailand is a lot like Facebook. You can only like it.
Posted on Facebook
Updates from December, 2010 Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts
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Elder
She took me up to her village. I met the family and realized I might actually be the oldest person in her family.
Overheard on the BTS
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Teaching Them a Lesson
Guy 1: The other night I get this phone call and it’s that chick I met last week. And she’s in my apartment! The f*cking security dude let her in. So I jump in a taxi with the girl I’m out with and go back to my apartment and tell her to get the f*ck out. Then the girl I’m with starts with an attitude so I kicked them both out. Taught them both a lesson.
Guy 2: I just learned a lesson too. I learned how not to handle a situation when I have two women in my room who both want to have sex with me.
Overheard in a bar on Sukhumvit
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Excuses
My excuse is going to be that I was forced to go out and drink with beautiful Thai women all night.
Queen’s Park Plaza, Soi 22
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Speaking in Foreign Tongues
Female Teacher (fishing for a compliment): Is there anyone beautiful in this class? (spoken in Thai)
Student (looking confused): I’m sorry, I don’t understand what you’re asking. (spoken in English)
Female Teacher: Is there anyone beautiful in this class? (again in Thai but much slower)
Student (really looking confused): Uh, uhhhhhm, no. (in Thai)
Student 2 (to the teacher): Som nam na (loose translation: You get what you deserve).
Overheard in a Thai language class
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Cops or Lady Boys
Guy 1: Dude, this ladyboy just tried to grab me. I almost punched that mother f*cker in the face.
Guy 2: That might be the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in Thailand
Guy 1: What?
Guy 2: There are two people you never hit in Thailand, cops and ladyboys. And if I had to make a choice between the two I would hit the cop because at least he knows he has paperwork to fill out when he kills you.
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Thai Politics
Thai politics is like being in prison or a gang. You need to have a few felonies under your belt just to get some respect.
Overheard on Soi 11
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Women are like trains
Thai women are like trains, they might not always be on time and they might not always be going where you need to go but you can always catch one.
Overheard in Nana Plaza
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Not Even Noteworthy
When I was just in the bathroom I saw some six foot lady boy go into one of the stalls with some Indian guy. And you know what? That doesn’t even strike me as strange anymore.
Overheard on Soi 22, Queens Park Plaza